Thursday, August 12, 2010

This might have happened


this might have happened
and this might not
while you were out

be upstanding
as always

don't be afraid
of the jays

just let us love
as always

carefully concealing
the cries

waiting, waiting

laughing with jays
at the very idea

counting crows

this might
have happened
this might

while you were

the other shoe

be upstanding

as always
don't be afraid

be of good cheer

I'll start new chemo in two days, something called Gemcitabine. I mean really! Who names these drugs? They even sound heartless and cruel! But I am being self-indulgent and melodramatic and not respecting the superstition of the cancer-ridden - it can't be wise to call the substances that are saving your life, buying you days, "heartless and cruel." Right? I should be sweet-talking them instead. Ah, the brilliance of, I don't think I can pull it off.

I started to write about chemo, there are some things that I would like to share with you, but I think that I waited too late and am too tired. Everything I wrote was sounding brittle and defensive - not really the sound that I'm going for, in general. So, I'll just say good-night, for tonight and catch you tomorrow.

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